Children's Writing

We are really PROUD of Paolo in Year 5!

He has come a long way with his writing and his schooling. Paolo has been working really hard on this story and now we see why! What an amazing and emotional piece of writing. Congratulations on all of your wonderful hard work!

I have been told by his mother that Paolo is currently writing a book at home and is on chapter 13!!!

I think we have an author in the making here :-)

Opo’s Story

In the beautiful oceans there was a female dolphin that gave birth to a beautiful little dolphin named Opo. Opo loves to play, hide and hunt for stuff in the ocean, until one day when Opo was swimming with her mother - a big boat was above them, a net came and Opo’s mother pushed her out of her way, so Opo wouldn’t get caught by the net. The net caught her like a prison, then a harpoon came and shot her in the back.

Opo was crying; so she swam far away. The water was turning red, all of Opo’s joyful memories became a sad terrifying nightmare.

She was swimming for two days and two nights, until Opo reached an island.

It was a peaceful morning, the sun was rising so bright, the wind was quiet, the water was quiet as well (just a little bit). Opo was afraid because she had the feeling that the boat was following her and that it would chop her into meat for sale, (don’t worry the boat wasn’t following her).

Opo went to the island and not thinking about the boat that killed her mother. In the island there was a harbour - at the harbour there was a beach, and at the beach there were kids playing and mums were watching them play. It reminded Opo of her and her mother playing, Opo was depressed and jealous at the same time.

Opo looked to her right, nobody was there except there was one 9-year-old girl, she had loooong blonde hair, she had yellow eyes, she was wearing a pale white dress, white as paper and one more thing; she was wearing a dolphin necklace. She looked at Opo like she wants to eat her but she wouldn’t do that to a beautiful dolphin. Then she said to Opo “Hi my name is Kelly, don’t worry I’m not chopping you into thousands of pieces of meat for dinner, I am just trying to feed you some food”, she throws the food and Opo jumps out the water and catches the food in mid-air.

Kelly was surprised, “wow that’s sooooo cool, I wanna be friends with you!”

A dolphin friends with a female child. Sounds like making friendship.

“Kelly let’s go or you’ll be left behind, hurry up!” her dad called for her to come back. Her house is 600 meters away from the beach.

“Goodbye Opo, we will be friends forever and forever. Bye!” She ran up the stairs and walked home with her father.

Opo was really happy that she made a new friend. Kelly came back the next day to play with Opo the dolphin, every day Kelly and Opo meet with each other. They play, eat and talk to each other at the same place.

10 years went by quite quickly. Kelly and Opo grew up. They both are in a dolphin seaworld where there's dolphins jumping, going through hoops and stuff.

In Opo´s head; his mother is cheering for Opo and telling her to do her best and always saying to think before she does her performance in front of many people.

Opo will never forget her mother, Opo still think of her mother, that died when she was a baby. Everytime she thinks of her mother; Opo will always love her mother.

The End

By Paolo Mordeno

Peer Writing Stories - Listen to us read them to our hub :-)
 https://youtu.be/gmqt6pDk8xU

The Choco Thief

Chocolate is deliciously outstanding,

So many flavours I can’t explain.
But I had to resort to hiding
Because the Choco thief is being a real pain.

Caramello is my favourite flavour,
Because in the middle it is sticky and sweet.
Rolling around in my mouth to savour

This delightful delectable treat.

I have tried so many places

To hide this chocolate treasure.
In the cupboard there are certain spaces
But somehow he still finds my secret pleasure.

It’s pretty obvious who it is

Because he never likes to share
But when the chocolate is not his
It tends to just disappear.

Dad is the chocolate bandit,

I knew all along it was him
Usually he will confess to it
So surely he’s not a crim.

Dad hides his chocolate in the freezer

So next time I know what to do
I’ll out-smart the old geezer
I will steal a piece of his chocolate or two.

By Liam Cameron

Choco Race

Chocolate melting in my mouth,

We’re in the car travelling south.

Drinking Cadbury's cocoa on the way,

going to Choco-land today.

With chocolate on my face, 

Mum says it’s a disgrace!

We're in a race to get first place,

To get more chocolate around my face.

By Levi Heffernan

Troublemaker

“Good morning Miss”The children sang in tune together.

“Good morning class, today we have a brilliant guest speaker”, Miss O’Malley raised her hand over a mouth to whisper as if she didn’t want the other children to hear, “he’s actually not” she whispered in my direction.

My golly gosh, he’s a clown! Stomping through the door with that HUGE mouth of his he looked like …..

CAKE why would he need a cake? I thought to myself. Suddenly, it popped up, oh no! Why would he want to do that ?

As he turned around can you guess what happened? His pants split! Wow! Yeah! That was embarrassing!

The clown screamed with horror and his mouth had hit the ground with shock!

As he came face to face with the cake, the clown had blobbed his face straight in it to hide his red rosey cheeks. It went everywhere inlcuding my eye. Are you kidding me? I was not impressed - Crazy thing!. Are you serious, he’s got more cream pies to throw everywhere!

The clown decided that it would be funny to come around the whole class splatting students in the face.

I have to think of something quick to do. Option 1, go undercover? Option 2, grab the cream pies and run? Option 3, chuck them in the bin? Right that’s done I’m going to shove him out the door! Great he’s gone, I say to myself in relief, as I wipe the cream pie off my face.

The End...
By NIAMH!
What Peer Writing looks like in Senior Hub 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyvEqEeU0pc&feature=youtu.be

Moon Mission

KA BOOM! The engine roared like an atomic bomb.  We are on a mission to find new life on the moon.  Although I have never been on the moon, I am ready to explore this substantial planet.  I have done a lot of complicated and challenging tasks in my life but this will be one of the hardest.  

“Hello, welcome aboard on our spaceship, you are on mission to find new life on the moon, there is a giant drill in your spaceship - good luck,” announced the Commander.  

Ok, I have one goal to achieve so let's do this.  After a long journey through space we finally arrive at our destination to find new life.  Time to plant the drill.  I shuffled over to the tremendous drill and turned it on, Vroom! It’s on. I looked at my spaceship and it looked microscopic from a distance.  

“Hey what that's sound…” I said with a nervous voice. I scampered over to check it out.  

The aliens jaw dropped to the ground with a shocked look upon their face,“Oh my gosh, humans are real!”

By Liam

ALIEN INVASION

“Hello Master, where are we going today?” asked The Royal Minion.

“We are going to invade Planet Earth! With a nice and calm death ray! Off  we go” .

“Tiny subjects of Earth, we come in peace” said the Master with a nice but evil looking grin on his face.

“So do we” cried out the humans of Planet Earth.

“No! After we shoot you with our death ray you won't come in peace, you will come in pieces! Ha ha ha” replied the Master with a deep and evil laugh.

“Help!” Screamed out the humans.  

As the humans ran away for their lives, the Master quickly grabbed his death ray and zapped all the humans in his sight. Unfortunately the Master had put the wrong setting on and all the humans turned into chickens!

“Nooooooo!” The Master screamed!

“Yum, we have dinner” laughed The Royal Minions.

By Lewis

Peer Writing - Term 2

Grammar

Our challenge today was to write a full sentence using 11 parts of speech: Adjectives, Verbs, Connectives, Capital Letters, Full Stops and Commas, Ellipses, Colons, Pronouns, Nouns and Proper Nouns. 

We worked in groups and then we shared our sentence with the class and edited together in red pen.

We are learning to use a range of V.C.O.P skills in our writing.

We have been looking at a variety of activities to help us with our grammar and our writing skills.
Over the past couple of weeks I have introduced V.C.O.P to the year 5 children, to develop and up-level their writing. In the back of their writing books they have a chart with useful V.C.O.P ideas that they can use.

We also find that using BBC Bitesize really helps us with our spelling/grammar and writing. Check out the link for more information, games and quizzes.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/ks2/english/

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=bbc+bitesize&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi_wPnftLrLAhUmGKYKHcM3CHgQ_AUIBygB&biw=1366&bih=696#imgrc=jkMOElOZSCia4M%3A

V - Vocabulary
C- Connectives
O - Sentence Openers
P - Punctuation

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=vcop&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiX6a7osrrLAhXDKWMKHY6KBjoQ_AUIBygB&biw=1366&bih=696#imgrc=CtEyQ8a1Wa6miM%3A

Grammar Workshop Y5

 This week we have been learning what a noun, proper noun and a pronoun are... 

How many do you know?

 

Proper Nouns describe the names of particular people, buildings, towns, countries, rivers, seas, days of the week and months. They are always spelt with a CAPITAL LETTER

A noun is a naming word for a person, animal, a thing, a place, a feeling and a quality. What naming words do you know?

Pronouns stand in place of a noun. For example; I, they, her, he, him, she, mine, yours, theirs.. Can you think of anymore to add to our poster?

Over the past two weeks we have been looking at ‘parts of speech’, to help us with our writing. So far we have been exploring adjectives, verbs and connectives. 

This is our ‘Working Wall’ with all the words that we could use for our writing.